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Who are we

... what do we know, and what should we do? Solange? Langa? Little kids playing with sticks? Followers taking you to a shabeen and asking if you're going to drink your last little dregs of beer.


Never mind.


Nice playlist, by the way...




I remember when I was talking with those epilepsy meet people who had had lobotomies. The chica was really interesting. The guy told me about how his CBD oil was such a lynchpin for him. I dunno. Puff puff puff. And? I guess I'm too used to expecting the THC hit.


Ummm... nooo...




Like... are you fucking kidding me...


How are the Volschenks, anyway?


Damn, bro. ZAFR... What a planet that is!


Yeah, I'll talk about JHB with them on Monday.


Nice catch...



I hope they're all okay. Delft. The prostitute from... Guinea was it?


I wanted to kill myself. Is that weird? I saw nothing. I saw just darkness. I saw no redemption. I only saw failure.


But then... Elsies. How would you like to come for a ride with me?


You don't REALLY know it unless you've been there.


And, of course, when it comes to "ideas of reference", timing is everything.




Why don't you love "somebody"?


Okay, let me it this way... if that is how you feel when you've found love... come on, come to ZAFR. I wanna show you something ;)


Man Down, indeed...


Oh my god... if I went to the airport with the man of the hour and said "this is my tour guide".

Fuck what I mindfuck that would be. So then the question is why not?


Get it, then maybe reach out.


Who was it that night. Yuvraj pulling the Rihanna rum-pa-pa-pum on... that guy was sort of an all-rounder but never did anything. White guy. Greg McClintock is what comes to mind but I know that's not a good ballpark. Craig? Anyway, I'll just look at a wiki list. And I'll remember immediately.


Pietersen? Or do I just remember that because of "auntie"? The memories scrunched into that alone. That train. Fish to Stellen. How did I know to stop their ruckus? What would I have lost? Chess. Watching that guy rob that woman. That evening. That house and that guy. Luther Van Dross. Chicago. "Don't go there or else". The walk. "Oh it's different now."


You just don't understand.


Kill myself because...


You see, when you're on the inside, you can't believe that you can't believe it.


But it's like...


Okay here's something. Think about The Partnership. And the way that the theatre was saying "you're absurd". What a great book.


Skip that other Rihanna stuff.




That's more like it.


"The life I've left behind me is a cold(/cool?) wind."


Okay the rest is not what I want to listen to. So yeah... The Partnership. Jon Stewart. And then something like this:



"Oh that's not me / that is me" or whatever. But it's like... are you even paying attention? Or is everything so unironically ironically unironic now?


-- Good title for this post, right? -- ;)


I remember listening to this in the warehouse with the child soldier. And I for sure pictured a black guy. "Ed Sheeran"? Some random English white guy that everyone's into? I don't care.


Istanbul. What the fuck happened there?


Do you know why you can only think of suicide? [Sorry... "could"... not to alarm anyone...]


Of course you do.


What song now? Not born slippy.


When YOU [the reader] are on the existential fulcrum, where do YOU [the reader] go?


Do you understand what I'm saying? Can you picture it?


That epilogue. Pretty... the segue to the boundary and the completion of the interior.


No, no song. I'll play an album. Thought of Walking in London. But no. A way-back choice. Jagged Little Pill... not really my thing... What emotions do I want right now? That fulcrum... you can see when you're there. A Bourdain moment of the not-so-nice type. Where it's darkness all around and you're looking down at the earth and you know that it's only zero below. But all of the numbers above just don't make sense. A white skeletal simple geometric drawing. Like as if it's drawn by chalk on black construction paper. That captures that Grassmanian fulcrum... That last segment and then the epilogue. And then I chipped away. What an experience.


Why would I want to kill myself?


Verkhovensky, Kirillov, Stavrogin...


I don't really feel like Pompeya right now.


What's a song that captures the Crossroads in the Labyrinth? You could say "The Grace" and that has definitely put a lot of places on the map. I guess nothing beats The Grand Tour, right?



Perfect moment to start and perfect reply!




Green dragons and such...


If I think about it seriously... possibly the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.


And some cyanide. And the whole gang.


And I wanted to kill myself.


Like... we parrot [i.e. "oh look John Lennon said this, right?"]... but we don't do anything.




My brother my brother whucha gonna do?


What an album. And I played it for that belt to Rankin Somalia. Crazy stuff huh?


I just texted "I guess I have mania now. It's an interesting feeling."


Good start... "there's a spark of magic in your eye..." Like... what an album... Seriously...


Umm... how about a bit of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVwtf_OzIDY


Change gears a bit...


Interesting convo about Diddy and Clive Davis, huh?


Buy four flights. Three from DES, one from CPT. How loony would that be? I think a lot of people would learn something... Good thought for Track 2 start.


Good chat with DM and Ma. Astral Weeks? Unforgettable Fire?


Right... one week for the three, one week for the one (or thereabouts, but just... split it up a little). That would be fair and ridiculous. And what's Lerato up to these days?


Gotta go with the motions sometimes.



Elsies. And the jab in the eye the day that day I arrived? "Oh it's John Wick." What a month.


The morning I went to South Africa. Totally absurd. Zevoli's. All that stuff. Complete insanity.


And I wanted to kill myself.


Let's go with Planet Telex, for something same same but different. It always takes me back to the Oxford bar. "Oh yeah, Radiohead, I've heard of them. But what are these other songs?"


Alright then.



When you feel "manic", it's actually a good thing (I guess?). Sort of like "flow". You just have to make sure you keep your world to yourself and don't start to spiral into conspiracies of cornucopia tomorrow.


What a good album, right?


Yeah... nice dream... to join the cactus club with the cool-drink?


How would that end up??


And JHB... to meet Maria? That would be amazing. And I've got an in, of course.



Telling her about my experiences in SA and Pa? The Big Bad Mama.




You know it. Nicki and the pigswizz.


That Modest Mouse experience? Totally ridiculous.


From the first moment, the f'in arrival. "There are ten people in the immigration lineup and one of them is someone I've known since I was five." "Let me share a taxi with you..." "See that's Groote Schuur Hospital there." And then Khay the first night. How is this possible?


Oh, such a good suggestion!



Maybe Anomie will see something someday. I think I did an incredible job. And the process I am sometimes the most thankful for!



There's a real difference.






Wow... the intro is "High and Dry". No, maybe not that interesting actually.



My first morning, waking up in Khaleyitsha after everything that went on the night before. Like how ridiculous can one 24-hour interval be?


How do other people understand life? What would it be like to have someone else's mind? It's impossible fathom. That private language argument. Is a machine-learning-translated language a private language?


I mean... you can say "well every language is machine-learning-translated etymologically". But that's not the point. Because there's no "historical brain" that holds all of the rules and processes by which a language becomes what it is in contrast to another language.



Indeed!


Why not play the whole album? Cathy Dennis is apparently a great songwriter...



Wait, she did that song "touch me I wanna feel your body your heart beats next to mine"?


Okay it's not that song. I like it. A quality disco-y dance album you could play at a party.


Maybe I could make a deal for a small extension for a month and even if it's unpaid, I'll do the write-ups and emails. That would be so epic.


Someone left a Red Bull behind. 473ml. Why not? So "Too Many Walls". Great song. It will be a good album but probably not too much more than edgy inner turmoil. What now?


Okay I acknowledge what the song means to me. But the whole album is the wrong kind of dad rock.




And then the next album... and I'm back!



Back to the Clockwork Demons...

Oh yeah... I was going to go to the album track, but this is good! You can parse the lyrics better.

No, not the whole album. But okay that one is listenable. Just wait for Bob to finish...



BOOM! That's something from a way-back time with absurd emotional value. Oh... great thought for what's coming next!

Twenty-five songs??



This should be interesting, given the enigmatic nature of the artist.


... wow Reagan at the end of that track... GWAR aren't stupid, they're just absurd.

Yeah, let's go with that for a while.


It's an album to like because you don't know what anything means or what to expect.

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